500+ Amazing Funny Whatsapp Status in English

Funny Whatsapp Status : After Love Status & Short Status , Today We are Sharing TOP Funny Whatsapp Status with You. We already have publishes many Collection of Whatsapp Status Quotes. All these Funny Quotes & Funny Whatsapp Status given in English Language. Mostly Every People like to Change their Status Day by Day, So here is the Collection of Most Amazing & Unique Funny Whatsapp Status.

funny status Funny Whatsapp Status

 

    • Math : Mental Abuse To Humans
    • God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me
    • Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror 😉
    • Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.
    • Time Is Precious. Waste It Wisely.
    • I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
    • I would lose weight, but I hate losing.
    • When nothing goes right..!! Go left.
    • I’M Great In Bed. I Can Sleep For Days.
    • You hate me, I hate you. Problem? ♥
    • I follow the quote, “Always be true to yourself” because I only lie to others!
    • life is short…smile while you still have teeth.
    • I wish I could mute people in real life.
    • Lazy Rule : Can’T Reach It. Don’T Need It.
    • God created the sleep, and the devil created an alarm clock.
    • Never Give Up On Your Dreams. Keep Sleeping.
    • I Am Not Special , I Am Just Limited Edition
    • I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.
    • Etc= End of thinking Capacity.
    • Be Strong I Whispered To My Wifi Signal.
    • You hate me, I hate you. Problem? ♥
    • Women May Not Hit Harder. But They Hit Lower.
    • life is short…smile while you still have teeth.
    • Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
    • God created the sleep, and the devil created an alarm clock.
    • Dear problems… Please give me some discount… I am your regular customer.
    • I Am Not Special , I Am Just Limited Edition
    • Nobody Texts Faster Than A Pissed Off Female.
    • Do You Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.
    • Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You’re one of them.
    • Totally available!! Please disturb me!
    • With Great Power Comes Great Electricity Bill. ( Funny Whatsapp Status )
    • Installing love. ……44%. Installation failed. Error 404: install money first.
    • Dear Karma, I Have A List Of People You Missed.
    • Awesome ends with Me, Ugly starts with U
    • Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
    • I am not virgin, My life fucks me everyday.
    • I Can’T Taste My Lips. Could You Do It For Me ?
    • Give me some sunshine…! Give me some rain…! Give me a another girlfriend…! So I ENJOY once again…!
    • If Stress Burned Calories, I’D Be A Supermodel.
    • Awesome ends with Me, Ugly starts with U
    • You can never buy love, but still you have to pay for it.
    • I am not virgin, My life fucks me everyday.
    • Don’t Make Me Laugh. I’M Trying To Be Mad At You.
    • Give me some sunshine…! Give me some rain…! Give me a another girlfriend…! So I ENJOY once again…!
    • Life Is Short. Smile While You Still Have Teeth.
    • i know you look on my status.
    • I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention!
    • Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.
    • Be Warned : I’M Bored. This Could Get Dangerous.
    • Kuch bhi Bolo But Dil???? to Chasmis Ladkiyaa hi Churatii hai.
    • I Am Brilliant Brunette With Lots Of Blond Moments.
    • I’m too lazy to stop being lazy.
    • Try to say the letter “M” without your lips touching.
    • Interrupt My Sleep & I’Ll Interrupt Your Breathing.
    • I Will Marry A Girl Who Looks Pretty In Aadhaar Card.
    • Cool thing only happen when you don’t have a camera.
    • I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.
    • Sorry about those texts I sent you, last night, my phone was drunk.
    • As Usual, There Is A Great Woman Behind Every Idiot.
    • I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
    • If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
    • Hey,you are reading my status again ?
    • There’S Always A Person That You Hate For No Reason. ( Funny Status for Whatsapp )
    • Life Is Full Of Questions. Idiots Are Full Of Answers.
    • Having one child makes you a parent; Having two you are a referee.
    • I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
    • I’m physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted.
    • My Boss Told Me To Have A Good Day….So I Went Home.
    •  I’m not lazy, I prefer the term “selective participation”.
    • Physically Mentally Emotionally TIRED.
    • When Life Gives You Lemons, Squirt Someone In The Eye.
    • Life: Besides gravity, nothing keeps me down.
    • I’m not lazy, I’m just very relaxed.
    • When You’re Downie Eat A Brownie!
    • Kiss Me If I’M Wrong But Dinosaurs Still Exist Right ?Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.
    • Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.
    • AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.
    • I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run.
    • Every time I have my picture taken I get hungry because I hear ‘cheese’ so I start to think of a nice cheese sandwich.
    • I’ Not Hungry. But I Am Bored. Therefore, I Shall Eat.
    • Study economics-when you’re unemployed, at least you’ll know why.
    • Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her!
    • Never hide your “last seen”, let people know that you’re ignoring them.
    • Marriage Is A Workshop Where Husband Works & Wife Shops.
    • You are special…. But not for me.
    • If You Tickle Me, I’M Not Responsible For Your Injuries. ( Funny Quotes )
    • Never give up on your dreams keep sleeping.
    • I’m cool but global warming made me hot
    • Zombies Are Looking For Brain. Don’T Sorry. You Are Safe.
    • My laziness is like 8; Once it lies down it’s infinite!
    • Please God If You Can’T Make Me Slim. Make My Friends Fat.
    • We Live in Generation Where, “Deleting history is more important than creating history “
    • Shopping is an art. I am an artist. Respect Please.
    • Not always “Available”.. Try your Luck.
    • My Mom Said ” Follow Your Dreams “, So I Went Back To Bed.
    • At least mosquitoes are attracted to me.
    • Q Quite Man Is A Thinking Man. A Quite Woman Is Usually Mad.
    • Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
    • Shopping is an art. I am an artist. Respect Please.
    • Never laugh at your wife’s choices… you’re one of them .
    • The Four Words A Girl Most Wants To Hear. I Bought You Food.
    • A real girl is not perfect and a perfect girl is not real.
    • I Love My Six Pack So Much. I Protect It With A Layer Of Fat. ( Funny Whatsapp Status )
    • Shopping is an art. I am an artist. Respect Please.
    • Things can change a women’s mood- 1) I love you 2) 50% Discount.
    • If Women Could Read Minds, Every Second Man Will Get Slapped.
    • Great power comes with great electricity bills.
    • I Don’T Have A Bucket List But My Fucket List Is A Mile Long.
    • You have to be ODD, to be number ONE.
    • Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
    • I’m pretty sure my prayers go directly to God’s spam folder.
    • “3 words more beautiful for a married woman than I LOVE YOU: No Cooking Today”
    • An Apple A Day Keeps Anyone Away, If You Throw It Hard Enough.
    • Girls worry about the things that guys forget. Guys worry about the things that girls remember.
    • Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
    • It’ Better To Be Absolutely Ridiculous Than Absolutely Boring
    • If there is no chocolate in heaven…”I AM NOT GOING”.
    • The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.
    • having 1 child makes you a parent having two makes you a referee.
    • You Don’T Have To Be Crazy To Hang Out With Me. I’Ll Train You.
    • Someone’s status is “Driving” since 5 days. I guess he reached Dubai.
    • You can either be right, or you can be the husband.
    • Someone writes “Urgent Calls Only”. Don’t get it… Are you in the police or ambulance service.?
    • Oh! I Am Sorry. I Forgot. I Only Exist When You Need Something.
    • Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
    • In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
    • Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror.40) I Won’T Be Impressed With Technology Until I Can Download Food.
    • Women’s apology: I’m sorry, but it was your fault.
    • No guts, no glory, no brain, same story
    • If I Had A Dollar For Every Smart Thing You’Ve Said I’D Be Poor. ( Funny Whatsapp Status )
    • I Will Slap You So Hard That Even Google Won’T Able To Find You.
    • I Wish My Parents Were Like Google. They Should Understand Me Even Before I Complete.
    • Yes of course I am athletic… I surf the Internet every day.
    • Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
    • I’M Going To Stand Outside. So If Anyone Asks, I Am Outstanding.
    • If the speed of light 1000,000 km/s, what is the speed of dark?
    • I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
    • One wise guy invented Whatsapp… and his wife added last seen feature
    • Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up 🙂
    • What happens if a doctor’s wife eats an apple a day?
    • If People Are Talking About You Behind Your Back, Then Just Fart.
    • I just want a boy that’s gonna say he loves me without my makeup.
    • The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.
    • Remember If We Get Caught, You Are Deaf And I Don’T Speak English.
    • Perfect boyfriend : Does not drink, does not smoke, does not cheat and also Does not exist ????
    • I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle! He’s dreaming too.
    • I Am Currently Experiencing Life At The Rate Of 15 Wtf’S Every Hours.
    • Talking to myself because I am my own consultant.
    • All girls are my sisters except you.
    • Dear I Know We Had Problems When I Was Younger….But I Love You Now.
    • Ladies, when you have got a king, don’t reshuffle the pack, because you might end up with a joker.
    • Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
    • Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.
    • All My Life I Thought Air Was Free….Untill I Bought A Bag Of Chips.
    • Born to express and not to impress.
    • I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
    • Marriage Lets You Annoy One Special Person For The Rest Of Your Life.
    • I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
    • I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
    • The women cries before the wedding and the man after.
    • I’Ll Be Back In 5 Minutes But If I’M Not Just Read This Message Again.
    • Sometimes You Just Want To Throw Fertilizer At People So They Grow Up.
    • “A man falls in love through his eyes, a women through her ears.”
    • I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist. I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos.
    • There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. HER HEART.
    • When I Was A Kid I Used To Think The Moon Followed Our Car Everywhere.
    • A broken promise is as good as a lie .
    • I’m not crazy I prefer the term mentally hilarious.
    • Brain is the best worker,When you can use it
    • If Each Day Is A Gift, I Would Like To Know Where I Can Return Mondays.
    • The hardest thing I ever tried was being normal.
    • Relationships are a lot like algebra… Ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
    •  If You Say You’Re Cooler Than Me….Does That Make Me Hotter Than You ?
    • A party without cake is just a meeting.
    • Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.55) My Room Is Not Messy, It Is An Obstacle Course Designed To Keep Me Fit. ( Funny Whatsapp Status )
    • When A Man Steals Your Wife, There Is No Better Revenge Than To Let Him Keep Her.
    • Sleeping Is My Drug. My Bed Is My Dealer & My Alarm Clock Is The Police.
    • Hey there! Whatsapp is using me.
    • If you can’t change a Girl… change the Girl.
    • My Goal This Weekend Is To Move Only Enough So People Know I’M Not Dead
    • Hey, you are reading my status again?
    • If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask someone else first.
    • I”M Going To Bed Really Means I’M Going To Lie In Bed And Go On My Phone.
    • If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
    • I Wish I Lived In A World Wher Mosquitoes Would Such Fat Instead Of Blood.
    • Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my Whatsapp status.
    • Food, Water, Sleep, Love, Whatsapp, Repeat it.
    • God Made Every Person Different. He Got Tired By The Time He Got To China.
    • I am Waiting for GF Message!
    • Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.
    • Cell Phones These Days Keep Getting Thinner & Smarter. People The Opposite. ( Funny Quotes )
    • i just want a boy thats gonna say he loves me without my makeup.
    • I Don’T Always Get Asked Out On A Date. But When I Do….It’S On April 1St.
    •  Hey you, yeah I’m talking to you, why the hell are you reading my status?
    • Autocorrect is like that person who just graduated college and think they know everything.
    • I Will Do Anything Humanly Possible To Reach The Remote Without Getting Up.
    • I Wasn’T Mad. But Now That You Asked Me 7 Times If I’M Mad…Yes, I’M Mad !
    • Hey you, yeah you. The one reading this. Wanna know a secret? You’re beautiful. Don’t ever give up.
    • You were the reason of my happiness but also the reason of my sadness
    • The Word ” Studying ” Was Made Up Of Two Words Originally ” Students Dying “.
    • Am I Only The One Who Calculates How Much Sleep I Can Get Before Going To Bed ?
    • I’ve discovered that you can’t change people. They can change themselves.
    • I Don’T Need A Hair Stylist, My Pillow Gives Me A New Hairstyle Every Morning.
    • The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once!
    • If you are reading this then I’m sure you have nothing to do in your life.
    • I’M Super Lazy Today !! Which Is Like Normal Lazy, But I’M Also Wearing A Cape.
    • So you’re checking my status 🙂
    • By all means marry if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
    • During The Day, I Don’T Believe In Ghosts. Ar Night I’M Little More Open-Minded.
    • Mans are many but money is money.
    •  My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
    • That Moment When You Miss One Step On The Stairs & You Think You’Re About To Die.
    • People that Change Love status after 30 Sec… GF is the Reason
    • Say it to my face, not through your status.
    • Don’T Think Of Yourself As An Ugly Person. Think If Yourself As A Beautiful Monkey.
    • Stop checking my status better you have your own.
    • Women’s mind is like a weather it may change anytime.
    • I Smile Because You’Re My Family. I Laugh Because There’S Nothing You Can Do About It. ( Funny Status for Whatsapp )
    • She wanted a puppy. But I didn’t want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy.
    • Dear Math, Please Grow Up & Solve Your Own Problems. I’M Tried Of Solving Them For You.
    • You’re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.
    • Not always Available.. Try your luck.
    • If your brain was money, you wouldn’t have a cent
    • WAIT! Do you have appointment to see my status.
    • Call me old-fashioned but I actually take love, sex, and feelings seriously.
    • Happiness is when “last seen at” changes to “online” and then to “typing”
    • I’m totally a cheap date, I don’t pay for anything.
    • Sometimes, I Forgot How To Spell A Word So I Change The Whole Sentence To Avoid Using It.
    • The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women – and so little time.
    • I Hate When I Plan Conversation In My Head & Other Person Doesn’T Follow The Damn Script.
    • The longer the title the less important the job.
    • Battery low, please disturb later.
    • Long Time Ago I Used To Have A Life, Until Someone Told Me To Get Into Social Networking.
    •  It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.
    • Sometimes I Wish I Was A Bird….So I Could Fly Over Certain People & Poop On Their Heads.
    • Don’t play stupid with me, I’m better at it!
    • Always Speak The Truth No Matter How Bitter Harsh It It. But Run Immediately After Saying It.
    • Once they stop talking to you, they start talking about you.
    • Chocolates Comes From Cocoa, Which Is Tree. That Makes It A Plant….So Chocolate Is A Salad.
    • Life gives hurdles, but I am an athlete. So it’s fun.
    • I Don’T Have To Worry About Getting Kidnapped, They Would Bring Me Back In Less Than An Hour. ( Funny Whatsapp Status )
    •  Life taught me a lot of lessons, but I bunked those classes too 😛
    • The Biggest Difference Between Men And Women Is What Comes To Mind When The Word Facial Is Used.
    • I really should do something with my life… maybe tomorrow.
    • My Idea Of A Good Morning Is One When I Open My Eyes, Take A Deep Breath, Then Go Back To Sleep.
    • I Hate It When People Are At Your House & Ask ” Do You Have A Bathroom ?” No, We Pee In The Yard.
    • I made a huge to do list for today. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
    • They Say That Love Is More Important Than Money, But Have Ever Tried To Pay Your Bills With A Hug ?
    • When a door closes, another door should open, but if it doesn’t then go in through the window.
  • People Say Everything Happens For A Reason, So When I Punch You In The Face, Remember I Have A Reason.
  • No. I Am Not Single. I Am In A Long Distance Relationship Because My Future Boyfriend Lives In Future.
  • It Takes Real Skill To Choke On Air, Fall Up Stairs & Trip Over Completely Nothing. I Have That Skill. ( Whatsapp Status Funny )
  • People Have Become Really Naughty On Whatsapp. Even Married Women Have Put Their Status As ” Available “.
  • If Plan A fails, remember that you have 25 letters left.
  • When Guys Get Jealous, Its Actually Kind A Cute. When Girls Get Jealous World War Iii Is A About To Start.
  • Sometimes, life gives you a second chance because just maybe the first time you weren’t ready.
  • Its Really Funny And Hilarious When Wife Thinks Shes Punishing Her Husband By Not Talking To Him For Days.
  •  Always Give 100%, Unless You’re Donating Blood.
  • Everything Happens For A Reason. But Sometimes The Reason Is That You’Re Stupid And You Make Bad Decision.
  • I Was reminded that my blood type is BE POSITIVE!
  • Life Is Too Short To Be Serious All The Time. So, If You Can’T Laugh At Yourself, Call Me….I’Ll Laugh At You.
  • I am blood type O-positive, which I remember by staying ‘optimistic positive.’
  • When I Text You A Massive Paragraph And You Reply 40 Minutes Late With ” K “….Are You Asking To Be Punched ?
  • I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
  • I Wish Falling In Love Has Traffic Light Too, So That I Would Know If I Should Go For It, Slow Down, Or Just Stop. ( Funny Whatsapp Status )
  • When You’Are Stressed, You Eat Ice Cream, Cake, Chocolate & Sweets. Why ? Because Stressed Spelled Backwards Is Desserts.
  • It’s not the fault of the mirror if you don’t like your reflection.
  • Whenever I Have A Panic Attach I Put A Brown Paper Big Over My Mouth…And Drink All Of The Vodka Inside It Seems To Help.
  • I’m just a mirror for you, You are good, I’m best, You are bad, I’m worst.
  • I Changes My Password To “Incorrect” So Whenever I Forget What It Is, The Computer Will Say ” Your Password Is Incorrect “.
  • I don’t have time to hate the people who hate me because I’m busy loving the people who love me.
  • When I Call My Parents & They Don’T Answer It’S No Big Deal But When They Call Me & I Don’T Answer Its Like To World War Iii.
  • Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
  • People Often Say Laughter Is The Best Medicine, But They Neglect To Mention That An Overdose Can Cause One’S Ass Too Fall Off.
  • I wish I had a delete button in my life. To delete some people, some memories, and some feelings.
  • Never Get Jealous When You See Your Ex With Someone Else, Because Our Parents Taught Us To Give Our Used Toys To The Less Fortunate. ( Funny Status )
  •  I would like to apologize to anyone I have NOT offended. Please by patient I will get to you shortly. Lol 🙂

 

So, Above was the our Collection of TOP Funny Whatsapp Status. We also included Funny Quotes & Funny Status for Whatsapp in this Article. This Article also includes Funny Status for Whatsapp for Boys & Girls. You can also share these Funny Whatsapp Status with Friends & Family.

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